Wednesday, April 1, 2015




IT'S MY CHOICE





Deepika Padukone’s video is the present hot topic that is doing rounds across social media whether it’s facebook, twitter, youtube…. people are sharing their views for it apparently some for it and some against it.  It had such an impact that within hours of the release of that video, another video was posted for the male version of their choice. Of course, no apprehensions, it’s perceptibly one’s own choice of what they want to do keeping a note of not harming or hurting anyone.

What I am unable to understand is why few men are so insecure if a woman has her own choice? I saw many comments in facebook that were saying that Deepika is misguiding the women by telling them the importance of one’s own choice.

What I felt by watching that video is that we, as a woman should not be judged by the surname we put or by the bindi or bangles or mangalsutra we wear or by the figure we carry or by the marital status we have or by the dress we wear. If I am married but don’t put sindoor on my forehead doesn’t mean that I don’t value my relation with my husband; if I wear jeans that does not imply that I don’t have family values;  if I come home late that does not mean that I don’t love my family.

We can’t deny the fact that there exist crimes against women, whether it is molestation or eve-teasing or rape or domestic violence and all are unfortunately committed by men. We cannot generalize men or women on any basis but we can just come forward together to change the society as a whole that has mutual respect for each other.

We should not be judgmental on basis of assumptions; rather we should esteem the other’s point of view. After all, we must remember that we are all human beings before being a male or a female and we have our life to live so each of us as an individual can have his or her own choice to lead the life the way we want.

For those who have not seen this video, here is the link:

http://www.mensxp.com/special-features/today/25490-this-powerful-video-starring-deepika-padukone-will-change-the-way-you-look-at-women.html




Friday, December 27, 2013

Proof of Existence

There comes a time in all our lives when the situations are not in our hands and not in our control then arises the question of the existence of the one whom we know as GOD.

Has anyone seen him physically in front of their own eyes? No. We have only heard about his existence and felt him. We have seen him in photos and in serials as royally dressed and larger than life figures having enormous powers to do almost anything. But how he really is, no one knows; from generations he is imagined like us the humans but is that the truth?

He has created this world and the basic elements necessary for survival; we worship him in temple, mosque and church; we celebrate the festivals remembering him and worshipping him but all these are like unquestionable known facts and we are supposed to believe on these. Is that all? Is our relation with him this much only? We all worship God but does this relation exist as many to one only, I guess not. Don’t we have a one to one relation with him?

Each of us shares the same love and care with God as we share with the person whom we love the most in this world.

I am not God but he exists in me and every other human being; he is the conscience, he is the soul, he is my inner voice, he knows me, he owns me, he exists in my happiness, he exists in my love, he exists in my anger, he is there in my prayers, he is there in my tears, I argue with him, I force him, I beg from him, I fight with him; he is always there with me.

We can never be angry on him because we can never be angry on ourselves because he is the one who has created everything and we know that we are nothing; when we are helpless; we just leave the whole thing on him and surrender ourselves completely and just say, “it is you who has given us these problems, you only will find the solutions.” When we are lost, we beg from him with bowed head and folded hands because we know that it is only he who can bring back the boat of life to the shore and we do believe in the chanting of mantras and prayers because we know that miracles can happen if he wants because we know that he is the supreme power and he can do anything even if it is impossible.

It is this belief of all of us that proves his existence; it is our faith that has kept him in our heart and mind forever. And he listens to us otherwise the rituals and customs would not have existed even after so much involvement of science in day to day life.

   Whatever happens, we always say either “Thank God” or “Oh God”.


---Above excerpt is from my upcoming novel "Morsels of Life".

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Feeling like grrrrrrrrrrrrr.......



Back to blogging after a long time; was busy with festivals, celebrations and sudden family emergencies. Days and months passed and now the year is going to end in just few more days. New Year will start with new hopes, aspirations, plans, commitments, friends, foes and so many other new things. But with these new- the uncertain ones, we will have some old things as well which will carry forward from the previous year. Carry forward things will include the best, the good, the not so good and the ugly.

Good and best things could be the presence of a happy family, close friends, well paid job, possession of assets and property or anything else. Have we ever thought what this not so good and ugly actually is? Each of us has our own set of tribulations in life and the presence of these unwanted tribulations is the thing that makes our life not so pretty.  And most of the time these problems are nothing but human beings who create problems in our life.

These problematic people could be someone at your workplace you really can’t work with; or some family member you can’t adjust with; or someone who works for you but does not understand your perspective; or someone who broke the promise and hurt you; basically it is someone whose presence irritates you the most; it is someone you don’t like or hate from the bottom of your heart; it is someone whom as soon as you see, you feel like grrrrrrrrrrr……..

Presence of such people is disturbing but it is not in our hands. We can’t just simply shift + delete them from our lives. But what creates more trouble, the presence of such people in our lives or our inability to tackle such people? I feel, it is the latter that is the root cause than the former. After all, we can change what is in our control but not that what is not; it depends on us how much we can get affected or I should say it depends on us how much we can allow them to affect us; it depends on us how we mould ourselves, whether to be as is expected by them or to be as the one of our own choice.

Putting the blame on others and escaping or surrendering to the situation is always the easy way but definitely not the right way.  Just surrendering and giving up without trying will not make them realize that they are wrong. Taking the charge and speaking up for what is right is the correct way and should be the only way. Until and unless we ourselves take the charge and fight for our rights, nothing can change in our life. Transitioning of the criticism to constructive or destructive is entirely our preference. 

But the presence of such people paves the way for letting you know your inner strength, it shows you the real you, the real power and courage you possess. It brings out the positive in you and inspires you. So, at the end what it requires is the attitude and the spirit to fight back and move on.

For worst scenario which is totally out of control, saridon and disprin is anyways there :-)

Friday, October 4, 2013

Bongs and Durga Puja



When we talk about bongs, we can seldom miss talking about maacher-jhol or rosogolla or taant-sarees or Durga Puja.

Eventhough you don’t meet your friends and relatives for the rest of the year; Durga Puja being the main festival of bengalis, makes sure that all bongs are together during this time. The preparation of the grand event begins months before the festival but from the day of Mahalaya – the celebration begins. Mahalaya is the day of invocation or invitation to the mother goddess to descend on earth. It is also the day of remembrance where people offer “tarpan” in memory of their ancestors.

And then begins Navratri -  the worship of goddess Durga for ten days. From sixth day of Navratri, starts the actual carnival and it continues till Dussera – the day when Maa Durga killed the demon Mahishasur that is the victory of good over the evil.

The stage is set with idols of Durga, Laxmi, Saraswati, Karthik and Ganesh and Lord Shiva; pandits perform puja all day long; huge pandals are set with crowd of hundreds of people who come for performing puja and then have the famous khichudi bhog; the evenings turn musical where singers sing the rabindra sangeet and other folk songs; various food stalls are set to satisfy the hunger pangs of people who get tired of talking and meeting the people; everyone is dressed in new clothes especially  women clad in traditional sarees of dhakai jamdani, baluchari, kathastitch, toshor, bomkai…; in short one and all is seen enjoying the festival with never ending zeal.

There is delight of arrival of goddess on earth and gloom when she leaves the earth after immersion. This signifies that each of us goes through a cycle that starts with birth and ends with death; each of us has a different part to play when we are on earth; one who comes has to go and that is the law of nature and that has to be followed by everyone. And then with new hopes and new wishes, we wait for another year for the arrival of goddess and then another festive season begins.

May Goddess Durga shower her blessings on all of you!!! May all your wishes come true!!! Wish you all SHUBHO MAHALAYA